I am jotting down several passing ideas here before they fly away:
Seventeen years ago I wrote a post titled 'Forty five and counting'. I should have written one headed 'Sixty and still counting' in 2023, but I somehow forgot. Maybe I'll make up for it when I am sixty five, if I am still around and capable of thinking and writing!
I just learned that there are still elders in our town who are feeding their teenage children or grandchildren the old chestnut that 'If you work hard through school and college, you will have a good, assured and cushy career ever afterwards.' Who says only kids believe in fairy tales?
That old post called 'Lust Stories' is now beginning to irritate me. It was meant to be a sober review of a four-part movie which dealt - pretty soberly on the whole, can't even be called soft porn - with the issue of contemporary sexuality and related problems in India. It stays perpetually high on the most read list, for an absurd reason, as my Google search history recently informed me: many people stumble upon it while randomly searching for smut! I don't want to delete the post for good, but someone please tell me what else I can do about it.
I do wish that those who are enjoying my weekly storytelling on YouTube would write longer and more articulate comments (somehow just 'Great story Sir!' sounds very flat and unfulfilling), and spread the word among relatives and friends. I am glad to note that a few of my pupils' parents have become regular and appreciative listeners already. I shall be delighted to get advice about how to spread my reach beyond the immediate circle of students and ex students. Viewers are also welcome to suggest what they would like to hear next, as long as they don't repeat books and authors who have been done to death already.
I was going through posts written years ago, and I am beginning to wonder that I have written so much for so long on so many serious subjects. Besides raising a child and teaching for more than four decades, I shall definitely remember writing this blog as the most important thing I did with my life. How much it benefited others I shall leave my readers to decide.
Coming to books, I read something wonderful recently: The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King, which tells about a young female assistant (and gradually friend) that Sherlock Holmes finds in his advancing years, someone who is both his intellectual equal and on his side (unlike Moriarty), and who first trains under him then starts solving cases with him. The book was written in 1994 - strange that I didn't come across it for so long (thanks once again, Pupu)! - and it evolved into a 20-volume series. It was pure delight to read it: find out why for yourself. But maybe I shall not read the succeeding volumes: I don't want to contemplate Holmes growing increasingly rusty and senile. Healthy bit of feminism there, too - though the author has been most ahistorical in ascribing King Henry VIII's inability to have a legitimate son to his alleged syphilis (Henry did actually have more than one son), and it is a trifle rich to hear the girl saying to herself 'What do men know about driving?' while herself driving like a crazy drunk, barely avoiding serious accidents.
Tailpiece: I don't know whether I should be writing this - these days people are being hauled away by the police for less - but I greatly enjoyed listening to Avay Shukla's interview by Karan Thapar on YouTube today. Mr. Shukla, a retired IAS officer and popular blogger, has written in a recently published book that India is turning into a land of duffers. Look him up on Wikipedia, and watch the interview if you care and dare.
I end for now by asking my most favourite old boys and girls a very important question. Suppose I entirely stop giving private tuition to high-school goers at 65, what would be the best thing for me to do next? And how can you help me do it? I am asking very seriously, mind you, because it is about how I can most enjoy the dusk of my life.
4 comments:
Dear Sir,
This is in response to your question for your 'favourite old boys and girls'. Even though I'm neither of those, I couldn't resist answering.
As I have often mentioned to Swarnava, and on certain occasions, my family too, you've lived a life I have always imagined living. And you're the best teacher I could never have.
My only connection with you is through this blog. And your writings. Especially the ones which portray your human side are my favourite genre/topic. The blog posts in which you talk about certain events in your life, travelling, updates about the weather with a random trinket from your everyday life and life in general are my favourite. I certainly enjoy the others one too. The opinions on social issues, philosophical takes, writings about literature etc. are equally enthralling and unputdownable. However, the former gives me a possible sneak peek into you as a person without the other hats you wear- a teacher, a mentor, a counsellor, a writer, etc. I may not be doing complete justice to this piece of writing as I have to race against my laptop to finish this before the battery runs out but I hope I have been able to convey something.
Coming back to the question, here's what I would've done if I were at your age and mulling over retirement.
1) Do nothing and be still. For a few days, I'd just sit on the porch/balcony without any device, book, paper or person. If the monsoons are on their way, I would just sit and watch the rain for as many hours as they decide to be my guest. Observe how the rains fall on the leaves, on the flower pots lying barren for months, on the gate, on the soil. Enjoy the stillness it brings to the world around you. It's very meditative. I'm never agitated when it's raining with a gentle cool breeze. During summer months, if you wish to, you can go out to the market when people have gone for their most important task of the day-bhaatghoom. Our cities look beautiful in their desolate vacancy and devoid of any human activity. Same for late-night winter walks. As all living things retreat into their quarters, the night whispers its melody to the most patient observers.
I've done both and still do it at times.
Vipassana is something I have always wanted to do and have seen positive changes in people(my roommate in college). Maybe that’s something you can look into too.
2) If you get overwhelmed by this sensory onslaught of silence, go with the flow. Regenerate the childlike curiosity that didn’t adhere to the reasoning centres of the brain. Go for random walks, drives and like a distracted soul, go where your heart leads you. Follow any sights, smells or sensations that look inviting. Let the bustling big city crowd buffet you around into alleyways, streets and bazaar selling seemingly identical yet distinct things. Why restrict your little experience in the concrete jungles when you can decide to enter a random dirt road leading to a village when driving from anywhere to anywhere. Maybe the village will have the stereotypical huge tree with a place to sit around it. Sit there, spend some time and as you begin questioning what you’re doing in a random village of all places, drive to another one!
(I say ‘the big city’ instead of ‘a big city’ when describing the crowd as I believe fundamentally crowds remain the same no matter which big city you’re in.)
End of Part I
(Comment published in two parts due to limits imposed by this site.)
3) Learn any instrument of your choice. My father used to teach violin to a retired professor who was 75+. I’m pretty sure you’ll be a good student after so many years of being a teacher! The old professor was actually a pretty quick learner!
4) Pottery. I find this similar to meditation and used to be good at this back when tigers used to smoke. There’s something about handling wet clay that always calms me. Plus, the feeling of making/building something is a huge dopamine booster. Gardening falls under the same category.
5) Children’s book? Or just any Book? My paternal grandfather, who has written poems and stories in Odia all his life, picked up pace after retirement and since then, has published many books. He mostly writes children literature but he has written on other topics too. I guess all of your readers, barring those who’ve just read the Lust Stories blog, would love to see you write another book! Although, on second thought, your blog is a huge book in itself!
My laptop’s battery forces me to stop here. I hope I get to meet you someday sir, before you turn 65. I’ll probably have a lot more to share then. Kindly excuse any grammatical errors, misspellings or other issues with the formatting. I had to get this all out before laziness got the better of me.
Yours Sincerely
Aditya Mishra
P.S. These are a few things which I’ll be doing if I am unfortunate enough to live up to 65. I’ll be doing a lot of the first point as I currently do. Yes, I crave solitude like a moth craves for the fire that consumes it. That’s probably one of the reasons why I like channels like Peter Santenello and Outdoor Boys on YouTube(along with some people who document their village life in Japan/or the show Where the Wild Men Are with Ben Fogle). This just happens to be indicative of what I might do when I retire (if my generation will have the privilege to do so, is another topic of discussion.)
End of Part II
Dear Aditya,
Many thanks for a) reading the blogpost closely and sympathetically, b) responding promptly, intelligently and helpfully, and c) being the only one so far to respond :)
It so happens that I have been trying a lot of those things that you have recommended - learning how to cook, for example, and telling stories on YouTube. Meditating amidst silence, if possible among beautiful surroundings, has always been a deep pleasure. Pottery I'll keep in mind. Learning to play an instrument, I don't know: I had to give up the guitar in childhood because of a bad back, and because I decided I did not have any natural talent, and today I think the long, disciplined practice it calls for would be beyond me. But I am looking forward to a well-engaged old age.
I wish your battery had lasted a little longer. And I am equally eager to meet you. Maybe a Whatsapp video chat to start with?
Take care.
Sir
Dear Sir,
I am really happy to hear that you've been slowly working towards a well-engaged retirement and have taken up some interesting hobbies.
As for the instrument, I'd still implore you to consider trying on something simpler, which doesn't require sitting in restricting postures.
I have seen people with no concept of Sur and Taal, i.e. no natural talent, playing well. I am certain you'll do much better than them.
I am sure you'll continue to travel. For your future travels, I'd like to invite you to the Southern and Western districts of Odisha- Deomali, Daringbadi, Satkosia, Debrigarh, Jirang, Gajalakshmi Palace, Belgadia Palace etc are good places for spending a long weekend. The tourism and accessibility may not be of the same level as North Bengal hill stations, but therein lies its charm. No mindless commercialisation(so far) and a glimpse into the last century. Not too crowded and a sea of green everywhere the eyes go. July/August would be a good season to visit those places.
On the personal front, I had decided to join a book club here in my city, but I found the crowd more interested in getting pictures taken for their Social Media accounts while holding a Camus, Kafka or Dostoyevksy. I have decided to keep to myself and not engage with such crowds. Maybe Durgapur(definitely Kolkata) has a better crowd for literary circles?
Apologies for the delayed response. I had almost planned a sudden solo trip to North Bengal. That plan is on hold till July due to the monsoons.
I am so happy to see someone consider the phase of retirement seriously. Most people lead uneventful and dull lives when it is suddenly thrust upon them. I live in a colony where senior citizens form the bulk of the population and I would be a sad man if I were doing what they are doing when I am 65+.
I guess being a teacher and mentor has allowed you the space to live a much more fulfilling life than most people.
I would be more than happy to have a WhatsApp video chat, Sir!
Looking forward to it!
Yours Sincerely
Aditya Mishra
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