Last week, I travelled all the way to Kolkata and back by train to spend a few days with my daughter. This was after a very long time ... I have been shuttling between Durgapur and Delhi since 2018, and for several years before that, ever since the Volvo bus service started, I had given trains a miss. This time it was re-living an experience that was a round-the-year affair forty years ago, but much has changed since then. I journeyed all the way in air conditioned comfort, which would have been a pipe dream in my youth. The Howrah-Esplanade section of the Metro having become operational (albeit only on a very small scale, with just two rakes running, which is causing an enormous passenger load), I went home from the station in less than an hour, despite all the escalator rides and walking between concourses, for just thirty rupees! It was also pleasant to see that some things haven't changed: both the Coalfield Express and the Agniveena Express follow the same time schedule as they did in 1980, and they serve the same jhaal muri as they did so long ago.
But I didn't start writing this post to talk about train rides. What irritated me no end was the (bad-) manners of some co-passengers, specifically the way they let their little brats misbehave all through, despite the visible and barely concealed discomfiture of many others. These children, well beyond infancy, judging by their volubility, played noisy video games or raucous music on mobile phones, grabbed toys from other, less ill-behaved kids, got up on seats with shoes on and danced on them, literally picked things up from passing snack-vendors' trays, and nagged and screamed for every little thing they wanted right now, from a cold drink to a seat by the window. Their parents (in their thirties) and even in one case grandparents, did nothing beyond cooing and wheedling and occasionally tut-tutting at them, or at best urging them to pipe down in a way which made it obvious that they expected to be ignored, which of course they were. One father (I am ashamed to use this word, being a father myself) loudly told his child not to take a toy from another, offering to buy her an identical toy at once. While what these brats needed was to be immediate cuffed and ordered to apologize in such a way that they would learn a very valuable lesson in civility for the rest of their lives, they were instead being clearly encouraged to grow up to be (well-heeled) chhotolok, rowdies and guttersnipes. And mind you, all these people were clearly part of that section of our society which fiercely insists that they are educated bhodrolok. I, for one, have seen far more bhodro people among our much poorer fellow citizens, who have not enjoyed the dubious advantage of an English-medium education. I wonder how many of my readers can see themselves as in a mirror while they read this, and shamefully admit, at least to themselves, that they have been either brought up like this or have become parents like this. And I was also wondering why some people still pretend to be shocked to hear that a drunken minor driving his father's Porsche without a licence recently killed two bike riders in Pune, and brazenly told the police that his father knew all about what he was doing! How many innocents will have to pay dearly before our public rises up in a countrywide revolt against the growing cancer of a belief that money can buy up everything, even justice and civilization? Do read the previous post again.
This is the section of our society, too, which most passionately believes that we are very rapidly 'progressing' as a society and nation. God help Bharat that is India, as she fills up with such scum. And if God is really watching, may He quickly bring down the dictates of our time-tested Chanakya-niti upon the worst of us.
7 comments:
Yes sir, it is very obvious nowadays but not only in buses, it's regular nowadays when relatives come- (just to show off and have a gossip about others matter) but pretends as if they are truly concerned about our situations which I hate and that's why I ignore them simply, and on top of that, their kids being brats. Like one boy came and threw a toy on me right in my house while his parents just glared at him and the boy started crying not because his mother glared at him, it because that the toy got damaged and he wants another one but it should be same like that which was none other than mine. And his mother started to pat him with my more new toys instead of giving left and right because of his arrogant deeds. And this shows, by next year their sons/ daughters will represent the "Best pampered generation" in this billion years old earth.
Yes sir , you have explained their uncouth behaviour in the best possible way and even I have witnessed such annoying situations whenever I travel by bus or train. I don't consider myself as a so called good girl but I am definitely well aware of my boundaries by now as my parents have always clearly differentiated NEED and GREED . I should not be saying this but I think somewhere or the other , parents or their family culture is responsible for such behaviour and needs to be rectified which I personally think is practically impossible in today's world if people don't change their outlook.
Also , thank you sir for sharing this experience of yours .
As a teenager, I can understand your frustration with the lack of manners and discipline displayed by some individuals, especially parents who fail to control their children's behavior in public spaces. It is disheartening to see such disregard for common courtesy and respect for others. It is important for parents to instill values of respect and consideration in their children from a young age, as these behaviors will shape their character and interactions with others in the future. It is alarming to see the consequences of such negligence, as highlighted in the example of the drunken minor driving his father's Porsche. It is a stark reminder of the dangers of entitlement and lack of accountability. As a teenager, I hope to be a responsible and respectful member of society, and I urge others to do the same. Thank your sir for sharing your experience.
Dear Sir,
Your mention of Bidhan and Coalfield brought back nice memories of train travel. I have always loved trains, used to look forward to train journeys during school holidays, to Madras, Mangalore, Delhi and Bombay (as they were all known back then). At the time, we used to almost always travel in non air-conditioned coaches (unthinkable now). In most cases, we had to take the train to Howrah first, generally Bidhan, on the chord line (it's been such a long time since I used the last two words together!). I remember the lush paddy fields, the sound of generators pumping water out of wells, the haze hanging over the tiled houses in the middle of the fields in the evening (on the way back) and the accompanying smell of wood/dung fire. I recently discovered, when I put some tea in a flask, for a hike, that it tastes exactly like the kind the vendors used to sell on the trains.
The wonderful memories aside, I've noticed uncivil behaviour from much older people for a very long time, as you've mentioned in several of your posts too. Almost fifteen year ago, on a flight, a man was shouting some business deals on his phone. The stewardess had to remind him repeatedly that he was required to shut his phone down so that they are able to take off. He was screaming large sums of money, probably to show off to the people around him. I was embarrassed on his behalf. Another time, when the Volvo bus service had just started, a man called someone and kept telling them, "Ami Bholbho te bose acchi", just to make sure the person at the other end knew he had spent three times what he would have had to on an SBSTC. I doubt their progeny would behave any better!
It's not just in India though: I've seen people in buses and trains here too watch videos on their phones without earphones. They sometimes even make calls on speaker-mode drying all sorts of laundry in public, much to our chagrin. I was surprised to see how much, what kinds of things and at what odd hours people in India ordered things online. Food at midnight, dessert from another shop an hour later, breakfast from a restaurant literally from a cafe below. The option of ordering online, one-day delivery and such have infantilized us: I want such and such right now, and that's that. If they don't receive a reply within five minutes of sending a message, they start having a panic attack! I remember the blue inland letters we used to exchange with relatives long ago. I used to look forward to the mailman everyday even though I wasn't particularly waiting for anything specific. Things are quite different now!
The Pune Porsche case is just another of those sobering things: our GDP might go as high as it can, we might become a bazillion dollar economy at a certain point, but good roads, clean air, pleasant parks, well-stocked libraries, civic-mindedness, respect for laws and traffic rules will probably evade us forever. The scale of corruption, the lack of regard for life, the knowledge that money and/influence can buy us absolutely anything, really makes me despair. If there weren't such an uproar, the boy would have been let off after writing a three-hundred word essay and the two people who died would have been reduced to a statistic.
On my recent visits to India, I've noticed that if one has enough money, they can live in their own bubbles, at a standard comparable to Western lifestyles, perhaps even better since it is much more affordable to hire a cook, a maid a nanny and a driver in India. But then if there is an incident and an ambulance has to reach a certain spot, good luck trying to weave through unyielding traffic. Ditto expecting the government to deal with a natural calamity, as we saw a couple of years ago. That's when I felt it might be better to be poorer in a rich country that rich in a "poorer" country.
Sincerely
Nishant
Dear Sir
Your observation on parents reminded me of Shaw's saying, "Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children."
Sir, I feel that the crucial word in your post is 'educated/education'. Can we call these people and their kids educated? I believe not much has changed since Vivekananda called the Indian education system "wholly one of defects. What we receive as education is simply what you have termed in an earlier post as a "Niagara of information." We are still to realise that "education is not the amount of information that is put into [our] brain and runs riot there, undigested, all [our] life...If [we] have assimilated five ideas and made them [our] life and character, [we] have more education than any man who has got by heart a whole library." Agnibha was rightly talking about 'values of respect and consideration'; today's education, or what goes on in the name of education, is absolutely divorced of moral values.
In this context, I am often reminded of a letter written by Professor R.K. Dasgupta to The Statesman a long time ago (20 years, to be precise). I remembered the gist of the letter and I often mention it to my students in college, though I am quite sure it does not make a dime's worth of difference to them. I was quite delighted to find it on the Internet after a Google search. I am posting the link here: file:///D:/humanities%20underground%20%C2%BB%20Letters%20To%20The%20Editor.html
Let me quote some lines from the letter:
"The grand Boi Mela (Book Fair) which gives a new life to our city every year prompts me, a man of 88 years and seven months, stricken with a pernicious bronchial asthma, to speak of Mela Boi (too many books). My grandmother had only three books Krittibasi Ramayana, Kashidasi Mahabharat and Vijay Gupta’s Manasamangal.
I remember she had a preference for the Ramayana which she read for an hour before her sleep at noon. I envy my grandmother for her economy of books and in my good days read for many more hours. But what have I gained for possessing so many books and giving so much time to them? Nothing except some academic trappings which I now think are but tinsels and some academic positions to which I have failed to do justice.
I think the world is now sinking under the dead weight of its printed knowledge. Virgil knew more than Homer, but Homer is the greater poet. Milton knew more than Virgil, but Virgil is the greater poet. There may be some truth in Macaulay’s saying that as civilization advances poetry almost necessarily declines. Ramendrasundar Trivedi almost the same thing in his essay ‘Mahakavyer Lakhshan.’ And towards the end of the first world was Oswald Spengler wrote his The Decline of the West asking us not to write poetry but to produce machines.
The world has not stopped writing poetry, but has produced so many machines that the Pentagon has now enough nuclear heads to destroy the world in several hours."
Now 'machines' can hardly be called educated, can they?
Regards
Ramit
A parent who cares about their child's well mannered growth even if that comes with being loud in public places so as to castigate the child if needed, is always better than a parent who tries to act "cool" and dust responsibilities off their shoulders by not saying anything to their misbehaving child.
Dear Sir,
I wholeheartedly agree with your observations. The lack of basic civic sense, discipline and respect for the private space of other people has always been an issue with us Indians. And there is no excuse for this.
Recently, numerous accounts(all Indians) on X(Twitter) were complaining about the rude and uncouth behaviour of Indian tourists during jungle safaris in Africa and the T20 World Cup matches. This hasn't been the first time such issues have surfaced online. Our lack of decency and utter disregard for rules manifests itself everywhere. From airports to railway stations, cricket stadiums to foreign countries and roads to neighbourhoods where we reside, I find it irritating and frustrating. People spit and relieve their bladders at the place of their choosing, fart and burp at will, lack basic etiquette like queuing, saying please or thank you and the list goes on.
While travelling to and from Ranchi to Bhubaneswar and, more recently, from Bhubaneswar to Kolkata and back, I faced the same problems. People were broadcasting the reels they were watching at the maximum possible volume, talking loudly at 2 am and doing everything in their capacity to make life miserable for their slightly well-behaved co-passengers. I can only imagine what they'll be teaching their children.
I did my part by offering my earphones to some of them. While one of them did oblige by lowering the volume, the others continued with their torture.
Our schools aren't untouched by this phenomenon. I've heard teachers complain about how each successive batch is becoming ruder and meaner. Swearing, amongst young people, is considered cool nowadays and is done with utter disregard for the surroundings.
I was discussing these very issues with my mother a few days back in light of something I witnessed. She is of the view that kids these days aren't being raised with the fear of facing the consequences of their actions. Constant mollycoddling has resulted in a population of young people who act with the knowledge and confidence that their parents are there to cover up after them no matter how grave the situation is.
I think there's some truth to this. When I was a kid, I knew how to behave and how not to behave. Self-control was an integral part of growing up and being impulsive, stubborn and unruly wasn't ever rewarded. I and my brother didn't grow up in a strict household where we would have the imprint of our parents' fingers on our faces at the slightest mistake. But we knew that not being civil and well-behaved at home and outside would have appropriate consequences.
I have so far found no cure for this 'pandemic'. I am unsure how effective it would be to expect teachers to do more(which I am sure is already being taught) while at home all that children witness is their parents finding all means of breaking and bending rules. As for the adults, I believe them to be a lost cause.
We are a strange country. We will soon be reaching the same GDP numbers as Japan(all per capita figures aside). But we are far behind in adopting their discipline and respect for the individual.
No society is perfect. But we can at least strive to be one.
Regards,
Aditya Mishra
P.S. Sir, I would like to know if your thoughts get compulsively dragged to the past since you mentioned the unchanged train timings. I love hearing people talk about how life was back then. I relive those times through their tales. Eagerly look forward to hearing/reading about some stories in the near future.
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