To start
off, hearty thanks to all those who sent me cards by post and electronically, and
sms to say ‘Happy Teachers’ Day’. Too
many to thank individually, so forgive me. I want you all to look up my blog
anyway.
I have been
reflecting over this blogging experience, and wondering how long I should keep
at it. I am a teacher, and a thinking man, and that is what I shall remain till
the end of my days. Writing publicly, that’s something else again. As I have
said before, I started writing blogs on request at age 43 to extend my
classroom over the net worldwide, and make the best possible use of that
classroom – to share, classic Bengali adda
fashion (not the roadside thek variety-),
my thoughts on all kinds of subjects with as wide a range of people as
possible, and engage the best of them in lively discussions which could
perchance entertain while mutually enriching minds. It’s about the only thing
that I do free of charge for people outside my immediate family, except for occasionally donating blood. I have been
writing for more than six years at a stretch – those who were graduating from
high school then are finishing university now; those then in college are
working and married! – and have written more than 300 posts on this blog
itself, besides nearly 200 on the other one. By any yardstick that’s a rich
harvest for anyone who is interested in reading. The page views counter has
crossed the 130,000 mark, I get almost 3000 visits a month on average (nearly
40,000 in just the last year), there are 270-odd ‘members’ of this blog, and most posts here are commented upon upto a dozen times at least: some have
attracted more than 50 comments. A good enough record for most blog writers;
indeed, many would be envious (there are countless blogs which don’t get a
thousand visits and thirty comments in a whole year, yet sheer vanity and
idleness keep the writers hammering away! Also, a lot of people, especially
juveniles, give up what started as a lark after the first year or so). Still, there
are reasons why I am not as happy as I could be. Let me list them for myself:
· There are obviously hundreds of readers who
refuse to become members that I may know – why?
· There are also hundreds of readers who will
simply never comment, even to ask a question or say thanks.
· I have lately had to shut out scum who comment
only to say ‘I hate you’ in various ways, and can obviously neither read nor
understand what I write, so no sensible comment can be expected from them: why
on earth do they visit at all?
· Too many old posts are too quickly and
permanently forgotten, whereas serious readers should be looking them up
frequently and commenting again and again, seeing new significance in them in
the light of their own growing experience of life. As I have said before, little here dates – seeing that I don’t write about the launch of smart phones.
· I do write on virtually every subject under the sun except smut and shopping and cricket and partying: are those the only things most people are interested in, then?
· Every year, at the time of leaving, scores of pupils promise that they are going to keep in touch, and agree that the blogs would be the best option, since I cannot keep individually in touch with so many via email and phone, but most of them simply fade away with time!
· The kind of excuses that people come up with for
not following my blogs regularly are exasperating, to put it mildly: while the
youngsters say “Mommy doesn’t allow me to use the net”, working people say they
either don’t have a good connection at home or they are ‘too tired’ at the end
of a long day…come on, if you were truly interested, such excuses would never
even crop up in your mind! And yet so many of them, when they call or visit,
insist that I believe they often think about me, and find it sad that I have
forgotten them. People can’t accept that they make themselves forgettable!
· There are those who take many months to reply to
emails of mine, but when they write,
they expect me to reply attentively, affectionately and adequately within a day
or two. Of course, they themselves are too busy, all of them, and I am the only
man they know who has all the time in the world. Many of these people, I happen
to know, also loudly lament on many forums that people are falling out of
touch!
No point in lengthening that list, though
I could.
I also sometimes think of my erstwhile colleagues
at St. Xavier’s Durgapur. Believe it or not, some of them once upon a time said
publicly that they liked and admired and even respected me for various reasons.
Ever since I quit, however, they have somehow found it ‘inconvenient’ to look
me up, yet they have gone around assuring one another and everybody they know
that I am an unsocial person! Also,
they would say they have simply been ‘too busy’ working, shopping, doing
chores, attending parties, saving, travelling, raising children, getting
medical attention… the sort of things I do all the time, too, the only
difference between me and them lying in the fact that I do not make a big deal
out of these mundane things, nor think that one is human if one cannot
simultaneously live a rich life of the mind. Most of them never had minds
anyway, but of a few I had had some hope once upon a time. One, I hear, is
growing old and infirm; hasn’t he still realized that I happen to be one of the
very few human beings who ever really
liked and to some extent respected him, and does he relish the thought that he
would die without ever seeing me again? Does he reflect sometimes, in lonely
moments, on what has happened to the memory of Fathers Gilson and Wautier and
Wavreil? Do the illusions of the world still hold him back so strongly? And he’s
just one
of the many people whose shadows come back sometimes…
Of course, that school was only a part of
my life. There have been lots of other experiences of the sort that people who
directly became schoolteachers after graduating from college and never did
anything else all their lives cannot possibly imagine – other places and
people, other encounters, other realizations (can people without any experience
of life outside the classroom ever become real teachers? I have never stopped
wondering. Instructors, sure, but teachers?).
Ghosts sometimes come out of the past, and some even say “I am so sorry I
wasted so many precious years staying away because I didn’t understand you”.
With a few of them relations are patched up; with most, alas, it is too late. It’s
happened even to members of my own native family. People should think hard
before deciding to fall out of touch… there is an email i.d. given on this blog
for those who would like to communicate privately. Use it, today! I recently wrote to someone who had called himself my
friend for many years, just to make sure it isn’t true that I don’t give people
second chances; his reply assures me that he doesn’t want anything of the kind.
I tried the same a couple of years ago with a sister whom I had raised like my
own child – there are still people around who are living testimony to this
claim – saying ‘I still love you as much as ever’, and she didn’t even bother
to reply. If you are their type, okay, but let it never be said that any
relationship was spoilt for want of trying on my part. That would be the only regret I don’t want to die with.
Otherwise, after all, people just come and go, and so will I…
On Monday, in the course of the same day,
even while taking the normal round of classes, I counselled people three
separate times: a mother and son who had just lost the man of the house, two
young girls who had quarrelled badly and were now feeling terrible about it yet
didn’t know how to make up, and an elderly gentleman who was very worried about
what his son was doing. All of them basically needed words of comfort and
reassurance, tidings of good cheer. So easy to say, but it is evident that most
people don’t find it anywhere, certainly
not from doctors, lawyers, engineers and most teachers, else they wouldn’t have
come to me. One very important
purpose of writing my blogs was to share the same sort of comfort, cheer,
reassurance and spirit of exhilarating freedom with a lot of people, and
considering that my blogs are visited so frequently, it is evident that many
people do find some use for them. So
why won’t they let me know? Is there a chance that they have reason to be
ashamed or scared?
One piece of news before I sign off for
now: after 24 continuous years, I have stopped taking in plus-two level (classes
11 and 12) pupils this year, as I stopped teaching college goers many years ago.
Those who have good memories of those classes may want to know why. In any
case, as a result, starting November, at least for a couple of months, I am
going to have Sundays off – after having
worked seven days a week at a stretch for nearly two decades. I wonder how
much I’ll enjoy it, though…
8 comments:
Dear Sir,
I can never thank you enough for whatever you have done and still doing for me...much of what I am has been greatly shaped by your teachings and principles.I pray that God grants you and your family more happiness and peace in the years to come by.
A word for those who are always ready to malign Suvro Sir...remember that Sir is not craving for your attention nor writes blog to boost his own ego. So, it is better if you folks stay away from stuffs that won't ring a bell in your dumb brains...no point in loathing Sir for the qualities you can never even dream of achieving.
Sir, congratulations once more for keeping the blog alive for six years...it is not an easy feat at all. Lastly, I hope you enjoy your tuition-free Sundays because you rightly deserve it.
With regards,
Saikat.
Dear Sir,
Writing here after a long time...
Although I go through most of your blog post the reason not to write here more often can be given to the fact that some of your students write so well. This might seem stupid but at the same time I really cherish reading the post and contemplate but I dare not write a comment.
Thank you seems too brief and may be too inadequate to convey how much you mean to all of us. And for me, I really cannot sometimes put my feelings into words.
We all respect you...
About your little news, at least you have lots of time to travel now!
On a fine Sunday afternoon you had mentioned a word "Wanderlust". I have never forgotten that word and live up to it.
Allow me to finish off with just an inadequate Thank You.
Happy Teachers' Day once again.
Regards,
Archishman
Who are the 'we', Archishman? I makes some sense in this context; we is pure nonsense. Who else are you talking for? Before I shut off anonymous comments, a lot of mugs used to write 'we all know what a bad man you are...'. Should I put your we in the same category?
Sir
Dear Sir,
By "We" I meant the majority who owes even a tiny percent of their "growing" up to you.
Long ago you said that 'We all face choices'. And if you choose to put my "we" into the category of mug who had perhaps called you names and failed to understand what you want to teach, you can gladly do so.
But that will not lessen a bit of my respect towards you.
Wishing you a fine day ahead.
Regards,
Archishman
You are too quick to take offence, Archishman; too quick even to reflect whether my annoyance was at all directed at you or not. All I said was that a man can at best speak for himself - it is rare that he can generalize, even on behalf of his close friends, when talking about liking or disliking a certain person. Those who write 'we all know what a bad man you are' NEVER take the trouble to sign their names together!
Dear Sir,
Warm regards.A very beautiful post,Sir,as always-once again marked by a pain of the deepest nature.Why can't most people for once learn to perceive the difference between superficial band-aids and real love,when they seek solutions to their chronic problems?Maybe,Sir,most of us seek to judge far more quickly,than we try to understand.I have found you,Sir,to be the perfect embodiment of the ideal/maxim set down by Dr. Stephen Covey in his book-"Seek first to understand,then to be understood."
Every single time I converse with you,Sir-I come back feeling like a million bucks,as if somebody had just gifted me with a delicious chocolate sundae,oozing love.There is a glow in my heart,which I can only compare to a feeling of peace and fulfillment that says-"You too are valued."
As one post on the American Scholar goes,"He was He.I was I.."Today,every moment,I feel glad that I know you,and that you are my teacher too.
Sir,I can't do better than quote the lines from Kishore Kumar's evergreen melody,"Zindagi ke Safar mein.."
"....Zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate
zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate
phool khilte hain,
log milte hain
phool khilte hain,
log milte hain magar
patjhad main jo phool
murjha jate hain
woh baharon ke aane se khilte nahin
kuchh log ek roz jo bichad jate hain
woj hazaron ke aane se milte nahin
umr bhar chahe koi pukara kare unka naam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate..."
With lots of love and best wishes,
Debarshi.
Dear Sir,
I wish you all the best for your coming life. I am both surprised and amazed that you work 7 days a week. This blog means a lot to me, more so because I am perennially in a struggle to make decisions about subjects which you write about in this blog. It is often the case, that yours is the only opinion of any significance which takes a contrarian view of things and that is immensely helpful.
yours sincerely,
Navin
Dear Sir,
I am really touched by this post and I want to thank you for everything that you have done for us.I am very grateful to you for how i perceive everything today.
Yours sincerely,
Sudeep
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