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Saturday, December 14, 2013

That's it!

We are nearing the end of the year now, and this is my 52nd post of the year. Also, I have been writing non-stop, at a steady rate, for seven and a half years. It’s time, I think, to take a break. So I am bidding my readers – and I know there are at least several hundred – au revoir, though not adieu. And since the festive season is coming up, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, all, wherever on this planet you might be located.

I have nearly 370 posts on this blog now. I am glad and proud of having acquired a readership spread across the world, including a few hundred regular visitors. This blog has helped me to renew and deepen some old connections, and make some worthy new friends. I am especially glad that this year the visit count has accelerated: there have been more than 50,000 page views since January, and five of the ten most-read posts were written this year itself. All to the good…

Now, as I wrote in a recent post, I am beginning to falter. Firstly, because no one can endlessly think of new and interesting things to say. Secondly because I have already created a wide and varied corpus of musing here that serious readers should explore much more assiduously than they have till date: few people can claim that they have read all, far fewer still that they remember everything and have reflected upon everything – I know, because if they had, their manner of interacting with me, by phone, chat, email or face to face would have changed greatly by now, and permanently. Thirdly, because I hate to think that I am being forced to repeat myself, simply because some people won’t listen and remember and take to heart. Fourthly, I wait until I am satisfied that the waiting has been long enough, and the paucity of sensible comments on anything I write, in sharp contrast to the number of visits, makes me think I have waited long enough: it’s not a nice feeling having to talk to a wall (one of the primary reasons I quit journalism in favour of teaching: the latter gave me live feedback every day). Fifthly, because this year I really poured myself out, and there’s a point where one needs to tell oneself ‘Stop!’

Besides, after what I wrote in the last post, everything else would sound silly and trivial to me, whether I write about the passage of Nelson Mandela or the recent Supreme Court judgment on homosexuality or the arrest of an Indian diplomat in New York. I leave that to people who have all the time in the world for trifles…I want people to engage with me henceforth, if they want to at all, because posts like that one have resonated somewhere deep and essential inside them. arasikesu rasasya nivedanang/ shirosi ma likho, ma likho, ma likho.

I am not going to stop writing here. I am only going to become irregular. Henceforth, only when the fancy seizes me. After a quarter million page views, I don’t have to prove anything to myself, and those who are really interested will wait, and prod, and talk to me.

So also with relatives, so-called friends, and old acquaintances. As I myself teach, all a man has to do to go to sleep in peace at the end of each day is to look his conscience in the eye and reply to its question ‘Did you try all you could?’ as I can say, with total and calm confidence, ‘I did’. After now, the ball is in other people’s court. They want to keep in touch with me, they will abide by my terms. Otherwise, I am well rid.

Just one request, all. Don’t pretend what you don’t feel. Be it respect, love, or longing... faking is faking, and it hurts.

6 comments:

Debarshi_Saha said...

Respected Sir,

Warm regards.I can't really wish you a 'Merry Christmas'-but I will wish for one filled with simple joys,peace and most of all, light and warmth.Your heart was,is and always will be a warm hearth,and all I can say is,Sir-may the right persons only receive the wonderful warmth of love from the very same hearth,and sit around sharing stories.All said and done,maybe its when we come full circle,that we truly come back home-which is where we started,Sir.Thank you for every single thing always,and for the wonderful words,the stories that carry me higher,and for the love that defeats the chill!

:)

With best wishes to you,Urbi and Madam,

Debarshi.

Subhanjan Sengupta said...

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.” - Emile Zola

Sir, you have done more than any other teacher/guru I have ever seen or will see in days to come. It is now time to put ourselves to test, only to realise what it means to and how damn hard it is to 'live out loud'.

Arghya Chatterjee said...

Dear Sir,


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family.


Though, I am not a regular viewer of this blog but still its hard to say bye. I just hope your irregular posts are more frequent than my visits.

Thank you for raising so many topics of concern, ranging from ancient history to modern times and even to "mo-r-dern" people. It not that all issues fascinate me equally but some do penetrate deep inside.


Hope to hear from you soon.


Thanks,
Arghya

akash ganguly said...

Dear Sir'

I hope you enjoy the most, of a nice holiday with your family at the end of this year after all you did and bore. Merry Christmas, for now.

Regards,
Akash

soumi chatterjee said...

Dear Sir,
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Now, when I am no more fortunate enough to attend your classes, I realise how much effort you put in.

Thank you sir....



Thank you
Soumi

Unknown said...

Dear Sir,

I thought I would start reading the blog starting from the most recent posts. This was the first. When I read this post I couldn't help but feel guilty. With every passing day I realize how difficult it is to find people who can influence and make a difference in your life for the better. And the fact that I have been falling out of touch, for whatever reasons, definitely served as the final blow. I can’t go back in time but I hope to try all I can to make some amends.

Merry Christmas! I hope you have a wonderful time and enjoy the rest of this year and the ones to follow. Have a safe journey (though I don’t know if you are going for a trip this year).

With respect and regards from,
Sanjukta Saha.